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Saturday, September 21, 2024

South Indian vs Hindi | Indian Stand Up Comedy | Navin Kumar

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South Indian vs Hindi | Indian Stand Up Comedy | Navin Kumar

These are some jokes.
For more jokes, Subscribe to channel.
For a lot more jokes, follow on insta @

CREDITS:

Venue: The Habitat – Comedy and Music Cafe, Mumbai

Recorded by –
Audio – Yash Barse, Siegen Moopanar, Swarada Bodas
Video – Dishang Popat, Harsh Shah, Vriddhi Sawlani

Video editing – Suhas Navarathna
Audio editing and Mixing – Sreejith Menon

Special love and gratitude to Shankar Chugani, Kjeld Sresth, Suman Kumar, Anand Rathnam and Suhas Navarathna.

Written and performed by Navin Kumar.

source

Hindi Comedy

Hindi Comedy , South Indian vs Hindi | Indian Stand Up Comedy | Navin Kumar , , uq3SUrhX2bk , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uq3SUrhX2bk , https://i.ytimg.com/vi/uq3SUrhX2bk/hqdefault.jpg , 9017083 , , These are some jokes.
For more jokes, Subscribe to channel.
For a lot more jokes, follow on insta @

CREDITS:

Venue: The Habitat – Comedy and Music Cafe, Mumbai

Recorded by –
Audio – Yash Barse, Siegen Moopanar, Swarada Bodas
Video – Dishang Popat, Harsh Shah, Vriddhi Sawlani

Video editing – Suhas Navarathna
Audio editing and Mixing – Sreejith Menon

Special love and gratitude to Shankar Chugani, Kjeld Sresth, Suman Kumar, Anand Rathnam and Suhas Navarathna.

Written and performed by Navin Kumar. , 1568710736 , 2019-09-17 14:28:56 , 00:10:30 , 630 , UC1T5f4N3NpbngsaNwNQxEHw , Navin Kumar , 216055 , [vid_dislikes] , stand up comedy,stand up comedy indian,indian stand up comedy,stand up comedy india,indian stand up comedy english,stand up comedy 2019,Tamil stand up comedy,stand up comedy full,stand up comedy full show,Hindi row,Hindi imposition troll,Hindi imposition in tamil nadu,Hindi imposition in india,Hindi imposition debate,Hindi,Hindi imposition,sa,alex,stophindiimposition,aravind sa,kanan gill,south india,south states,bangalore,chennai , https://www.youtubepp.com/watch?v=uq3SUrhX2bk ,

  • 0:00 | I was watching a Stand up Comedy video on
    youtube recently
  • 0:02 | And then I saw a comment on the video
    By a handle named @feminist_boy_manoj
  • 0:11 | And
    the comment read
  • 0:14 | “What is this habit of Stand Up Comedians
    using abusive words to get laughter?
  • 0:18 | Act responsible guys. Remember,
  • 0:20 | women are also watching these
    videos”
  • 0:23 | And I also saw a reply to the comment
    By a handle named @lalitha_19111954
  • 0:30 | And the reply read “Chup Kar Madarchod”
  • 0:33 | Best thing I have seen on the internet so far
  • 0:39 | Also I perform in English, I don’t perform
    in Hindi
  • 0:43 | Because I am not a Star Plus kind of a guy
  • 0:46 | I am more of a Sun TV kind of a guy
  • 0:49 | That’s what I am
    (One guy continues laughing thinking about Suryavamsam movie)
  • 0:52 | Do you watch it a lot sir?
  • 0:55 | I come from this small town in Tamil Nadu
    Called ‘Chenna’i, if you guys know about it
  • 1:00 | That’s the problem, whenever I come out of Chennai
  • 1:02 | A lot of people think I am a moron
  • 1:04 | So I always tell them, “No. I am an oxymoron”
  • 1:07 | Because I am a Tamilian who can speak Hindi
  • 1:10 | But when I say I know Hindi, I know Hindi
    better than most Tamilians do
  • 1:13 | So I am the kind of guy who goes into a Punjabi
    Dhaba
  • 1:15 | And says “Agali order, Chaar roti chahiye”
    Mostly in Amitabh Bhachan’s tone
  • 1:21 | Because Kaun Banega Crorepati is the only
    Hindi show I ever watched in my life
  • 1:26 | When I need six rotis, I can be
    “Bhaiya, che roti chahiye”
  • 1:30 | My problem really is when I need twelve rotis
    Because that is when I have to say
  • 1:34 | “Bhaiyaaa… Ek dho roti chahiye”
  • 1:41 | (Audience laughing longer than he expected)
    Okay relax
  • 1:47 | (Audience laughing more)
    See, you cannot blame me because
  • 1:49 | That is how the railway station ladies taught
    me Hindi
  • 1:52 | For some reason it is always
    “Agali gaadi number Dho-Shoonya-Ek-Chaar aa gaya hai”
  • 1:59 | That too with an orgasm every time she says it.
  • 2:02 | (Doing poor orgasmic impression of the same numbers)
  • 2:07 | Why can’t they just fucking call it “Dho
    hazaar….”
  • 2:11 | Whatever.
  • 2:15 | You Hindi speaking people in the house
    Have you ever used the word ‘Shoonya’
  • 2:18 | in any of your day to day conversations?
    No right? It is not just with Hindi
  • 2:21 | Even when a Tamilian says his phone number
    in Tamil
  • 2:24 | It is always like ‘Onbadhu-Ezhu-Ettu-ZERO-naalu-moonu-ZERO’
  • 2:30 | Just because we Indian invented zero
  • 2:32 | it
    become an official word in every damn Indian
    language
  • 2:37 | The funniest thing is, for a very long time
    I thought the phrase ‘Ugly gaadi’ meant
  • 2:41 | the train is going to be very dirty
  • 2:47 | Which is apparently always true right?
  • 2:50 | I thought it was a disclaimer from the Railways
    department
  • 2:53 | Saying “Our trains are f**king ugly, please
    don’t enter it”
  • 2:59 | Hindi is one language which always embarrasses
    me man.
  • 3:02 | I used to work for this company called Amazon
    And before you guys get any judgemental
  • 3:06 | I used to work as a Software Engineer there.
    I have to tell this because the last time
  • 3:11 | I told a lady I work for Amazon
    She was like “Ooooohhhhhhhhhhhh!”
  • 3:15 | “Which area do you take care of?”
  • 3:21 | Happens when you look like a real estate agent.
  • 3:25 | I used to go to office in my office cab regularly
    And one fine day a pretty North Indian lady
  • 3:29 | was sitting next to me
    And like an ass, I wanted to impress her with
  • 3:33 | my Hindi
    So I spoke to the cab waala saying
  • 3:36 | “Bhaiya seedha chalthe, signal ke aage,
    left se rukho”
  • 3:40 | And for some reason she smiled at me and said
    “No language would help you bro, just shut up!”
  • 3:47 | It is not like I don’t try to learn the
  • 3:49 | language of Hindi
    That is why most of the times I go to my Hindi
  • 3:51 | speaking colleagues
    And try to create small talks with them
  • 3:53 | Like asking them “Kya bhai, Kaisa hey aap”
    But as a Tamilian I expect them to understand me
  • 3:59 | and come up with simple replies
    Like “Acha hai”
  • 4:04 | “Bahuth acha hai”
  • 4:06 | Or if they are not so happy, they can say
  • 4:07 | “Acha nahi hai”
    But that is when this guy wants to mess up
  • 4:11 | with me
    Comes up with big ass dialogues like
  • 4:13 | “Ek gaav mein ek kisaan rakuthatha ki, Kabhi
    Kushi kabhi gam khi, Saala kaadoos ki,
  • 4:17 | Ache din aane waale hai”
  • 4:20 | And then I have to go “Acha hai”
  • 4:21 | And then I just walk away
    (But most times, deep inside I am like ‘Ommaley’)
  • 4:24 | Not even staying there.
  • 4:26 | With this level of Hindi I had the audacity
    to Gurgaon.
  • 4:30 | I was hungry, I went to this food centre called
    Haldirams
  • 4:33 | It was a self service counter, so I got my
    food coupon
  • 4:37 | And then I gave my token to the food counter
    And I was waiting for my turn to be called
  • 4:42 | And then I realised that these guys were shouting out token numbers in Hindi
  • 4:48 | And my token number was ‘Eight hundred and Eighty eight’
  • 4:51 | Immediately I was like “I am going to starve tonight. Let me be ready”
  • 4:55 | But I didn’t want to give up. So I took
  • 4:56 | out my google translator
    And typed ‘888’ in numbers, and then I
  • 5:01 | said “Translate to Hindi”
    And google said ‘888’(in numbers).
  • 5:06 | I was like “Google is stupid man”
    So I tried to be specific
  • 5:10 | I typed “Eight hundred and eighty eight”
    in English
  • 5:11 | And translated it and google said ‘Aat sau
    assi aat’
  • 5:16 | For the next five minutes, my goal was to
    remember it
  • 5:19 | So I started reciting “Aat sau assi aat,Aat
    sau assi aat, Aat sau assi aat”
  • 5:23 | The guys was like “Aat sau pachpan”
    I was like “NO. Aat sau assi aat,Aat sau
  • 5:27 | assi aat, Aat sau…”
    The guy was like “Aat sau Athiban”
  • 5:28 | I was like “NO. Aat sau assi aat,Aat sau
    assi aat, Aat sau…”
  • 5:30 | Athiban is not a number, it is just my friend’s
    name
  • 5:34 | Five minutes later my turn came out and the
    guy shouted
  • 5:37 | “Token number Aat-aat-aat”
  • 5:40 | These railway station ladies man, I hate them!
  • 5:48 | I like talking about languages
    Because language is one thing that unites us
  • 5:53 | at the same time divides us.
  • 5:55 | I know this because I am a Tamilian who lives in Bangalore
  • 5:57 | And my roommate in Bangalore is a Kannadiga,
  • 6:00 | from Karnataka
    Sometimes he tells me
  • 6:01 | “Navin, you are in Karnataka, you should
    learn Kannada”
  • 6:05 | Which I completely empathise with
    That is why I always tell him
  • 6:07 | “Dude, I will definitely learn Kannada,
    once I am done with Java and Python”
  • 6:12 | Because if I am not going to learn Java and
    Python
  • 6:15 | I am not going to be in the Silicon Valley
    of India to learn Kannada in the first place right?
  • 6:20 | But this is why I like South Indian metropolitan cities in general
  • 6:23 | Because people from different parts of the country come and live here
  • 6:26 | Be it Bombay or Bangalore
  • 6:29 | Sometimes even people from outside the country
    live here
  • 6:31 | I think that is why there are very less road
    rages in these cities
  • 6:35 | Because most of the time if you have to fight
    with another person on the streets
  • 6:39 | The common language is English
    And we Indians are good at a lot of things
  • 6:43 | Fighting in English is not one among them
    That is why the maximum quarrel you can see
  • 6:48 | in English is
    One guy saying “Fuck you”
  • 6:50 | And another guy saying
    “You fuck you”
  • 6:54 | And then both of them fuck off
    That is the end of the quarrel, nobody gets hurt
  • 6:59 | I have been in fights, I have never been like
  • 7:01 | “Hey, I am going to kill you, carve your
    chest up with a knife, use your skin as furniture
  • 7:04 | covers, make a necklace out of both of your
    ears and screw your skull through one your eyeballs”
  • 7:09 | Thanks for laughing at that man
  • 7:11 | It took me three weeks to by heart that one
    dialogue
  • 7:15 | Had to download the script of Django Unchained
  • 7:18 | Sometimes even NRIs who come back from
  • 7:21 | UK and western countries
    Even they can’t fight in English
  • 7:24 | Firstly I don’t know why they have this
    American dream, a lot of people go to the
  • 7:28 | US
    Because I recently went to the US to realise
  • 7:30 | that there is not much difference between
    India and these western countries
  • 7:33 | Except this one thing called the usage of
    toilet paper
  • 7:37 | And when I went there I had no difficulty
    on how to use a toilet paper.
  • 7:40 | Thanks to all the YouTube videos I watched
  • 7:44 | That’s how you learn things in the internet era, I am sorry
  • 7:46 | But once I was done with all the basic etiquettes
  • 7:49 | My real confusion was whether to throw the
    used paper
  • 7:51 | Into the dustbin or into the toilet commode
    Because think about it, traditionally in India
  • 7:58 | all the waste paper goes to the dustbin
    And all the shit goes to the toilet commode
  • 8:03 | And this thing in my hand is a very weird
    combination
  • 8:08 | That is why most of the times I was there
    I just dropped it on the floor and just ran
  • 8:11 | away
    I was just clever I didn’t use the same
  • 8:14 | loo twice on the same day
  • 8:17 | I also met a friend there, a school friend of mine
  • 8:19 | who has been living there for three
    years
  • 8:20 | And he consistently had this fake accent,
    like how people have it
  • 8:24 | At one point I got really annoyed
    So I slapped him and said, “Dude, Talk properly”
  • 8:28 | And he shouted, “OMG! Did you just slap
    me?”
  • 8:32 | And that is when I realised he was desperately
    trying to be an American
  • 8:35 | Because only Americans can do that shit
    Getting slapped by a person and asking the
  • 8:39 | same person
    “Did you just slap me?”
  • 8:43 | Any Indians response to a slap is a slap back
    or a swear word
  • 8:46 | But this guys response was a rhetorical question
  • 8:50 | I became angry, I slapped him again
  • 8:53 | And this time he started sounding like an
    African dude
  • 8:55 | “Yo man, please don’t hit me like that!”(In
    poor African accent)
  • 8:58 | So I slapped him again
    And then he started sounding like a Sheikh
  • 9:02 | from Saudi Arabia
    And that is when I realised that with every slap
  • 9:05 | This guy is actually coming back to his home country
  • 9:07 | One slap at a time
  • 9:11 | The last time I slapped him so hard
    He became so Indian that he started chasing
  • 9:14 | me shouting “Lavadekebal”
    And then I had to run for my life
  • 9:20 | But I was talking about road rages
    Because I recently got into a road rage in
  • 9:23 | Bangalore
    I was on my bike and I dashed into this car
  • 9:25 | And I immediately realised it was my mistake
    So I was ready to apologise to this guy
  • 9:29 | So I came out my bike
    And this guy came out of his car
  • 9:32 | The problem is even before starting to listen
    to me
  • 9:34 | He started shouting at me in Hindi
    And I was like “If you are going to shout
  • 9:38 | at me in your mother tongue
    I am going to shout at you in my mother tongue”
  • 9:41 | And I started shouting at him in Tamil
    Which went on for the next two minutes
  • 9:47 | After which both of us realised
    This is not helping either of us
  • 9:50 | Why are we even doing this?
    He also probably realised it
  • 9:53 | So he was like, “Dude, can we fight in English?
    Because I don’t know Kannada”
  • 10:04 | I understand
    The South Indian in me got furious
  • 10:06 | I wanted to tell him “Dude this is not Kannada,
    this is Tamil
  • 10:09 | These are very different South Indian languages”
    But the Bangalorean in me told him something
  • 10:13 | That I always wanted to tell people in Bangalore
    So I looked at his straight into his eyes
  • 10:17 | I told him, “This is Karnataka, you should
    learn Kannada”
  • 10:21 | He was like “Sure, Thank you man and got
    into the car”
  • 10:23 | Alright guys, that’s been my time, you guys
    have been a fantastic audience. Thanks for listening!

,

  • 0:00 | I was watching a Stand up Comedy video on
    youtube recently
  • 0:02 | And then I saw a comment on the video
    By a handle named @feminist_boy_manoj
  • 0:11 | And
    the comment read
  • 0:14 | “What is this habit of Stand Up Comedians
    using abusive words to get laughter?
  • 0:18 | Act responsible guys. Remember,
  • 0:20 | women are also watching these
    videos”
  • 0:23 | And I also saw a reply to the comment
    By a handle named @lalitha_19111954
  • 0:30 | And the reply read “Chup Kar Madarchod”
  • 0:33 | Best thing I have seen on the internet so far
  • 0:39 | Also I perform in English, I don’t perform
    in Hindi
  • 0:43 | Because I am not a Star Plus kind of a guy
  • 0:46 | I am more of a Sun TV kind of a guy
  • 0:49 | That’s what I am
    (One guy continues laughing thinking about Suryavamsam movie)
  • 0:52 | Do you watch it a lot sir?
  • 0:55 | I come from this small town in Tamil Nadu
    Called ‘Chenna’i, if you guys know about it
  • 1:00 | That’s the problem, whenever I come out of Chennai
  • 1:02 | A lot of people think I am a moron
  • 1:04 | So I always tell them, “No. I am an oxymoron”
  • 1:07 | Because I am a Tamilian who can speak Hindi
  • 1:10 | But when I say I know Hindi, I know Hindi
    better than most Tamilians do
  • 1:13 | So I am the kind of guy who goes into a Punjabi
    Dhaba
  • 1:15 | And says “Agali order, Chaar roti chahiye”
    Mostly in Amitabh Bhachan’s tone
  • 1:21 | Because Kaun Banega Crorepati is the only
    Hindi show I ever watched in my life
  • 1:26 | When I need six rotis, I can be
    “Bhaiya, che roti chahiye”
  • 1:30 | My problem really is when I need twelve rotis
    Because that is when I have to say
  • 1:34 | “Bhaiyaaa… Ek dho roti chahiye”
  • 1:41 | (Audience laughing longer than he expected)
    Okay relax
  • 1:47 | (Audience laughing more)
    See, you cannot blame me because
  • 1:49 | That is how the railway station ladies taught
    me Hindi
  • 1:52 | For some reason it is always
    “Agali gaadi number Dho-Shoonya-Ek-Chaar aa gaya hai”
  • 1:59 | That too with an orgasm every time she says it.
  • 2:02 | (Doing poor orgasmic impression of the same numbers)
  • 2:07 | Why can’t they just fucking call it “Dho
    hazaar….”
  • 2:11 | Whatever.
  • 2:15 | You Hindi speaking people in the house
    Have you ever used the word ‘Shoonya’
  • 2:18 | in any of your day to day conversations?
    No right? It is not just with Hindi
  • 2:21 | Even when a Tamilian says his phone number
    in Tamil
  • 2:24 | It is always like ‘Onbadhu-Ezhu-Ettu-ZERO-naalu-moonu-ZERO’
  • 2:30 | Just because we Indian invented zero
  • 2:32 | it
    become an official word in every damn Indian
    language
  • 2:37 | The funniest thing is, for a very long time
    I thought the phrase ‘Ugly gaadi’ meant
  • 2:41 | the train is going to be very dirty
  • 2:47 | Which is apparently always true right?
  • 2:50 | I thought it was a disclaimer from the Railways
    department
  • 2:53 | Saying “Our trains are f**king ugly, please
    don’t enter it”
  • 2:59 | Hindi is one language which always embarrasses
    me man.
  • 3:02 | I used to work for this company called Amazon
    And before you guys get any judgemental
  • 3:06 | I used to work as a Software Engineer there.
    I have to tell this because the last time
  • 3:11 | I told a lady I work for Amazon
    She was like “Ooooohhhhhhhhhhhh!”
  • 3:15 | “Which area do you take care of?”
  • 3:21 | Happens when you look like a real estate agent.
  • 3:25 | I used to go to office in my office cab regularly
    And one fine day a pretty North Indian lady
  • 3:29 | was sitting next to me
    And like an ass, I wanted to impress her with
  • 3:33 | my Hindi
    So I spoke to the cab waala saying
  • 3:36 | “Bhaiya seedha chalthe, signal ke aage,
    left se rukho”
  • 3:40 | And for some reason she smiled at me and said
    “No language would help you bro, just shut up!”
  • 3:47 | It is not like I don’t try to learn the
  • 3:49 | language of Hindi
    That is why most of the times I go to my Hindi
  • 3:51 | speaking colleagues
    And try to create small talks with them
  • 3:53 | Like asking them “Kya bhai, Kaisa hey aap”
    But as a Tamilian I expect them to understand me
  • 3:59 | and come up with simple replies
    Like “Acha hai”
  • 4:04 | “Bahuth acha hai”
  • 4:06 | Or if they are not so happy, they can say
  • 4:07 | “Acha nahi hai”
    But that is when this guy wants to mess up
  • 4:11 | with me
    Comes up with big ass dialogues like
  • 4:13 | “Ek gaav mein ek kisaan rakuthatha ki, Kabhi
    Kushi kabhi gam khi, Saala kaadoos ki,
  • 4:17 | Ache din aane waale hai”
  • 4:20 | And then I have to go “Acha hai”
  • 4:21 | And then I just walk away
    (But most times, deep inside I am like ‘Ommaley’)
  • 4:24 | Not even staying there.
  • 4:26 | With this level of Hindi I had the audacity
    to Gurgaon.
  • 4:30 | I was hungry, I went to this food centre called
    Haldirams
  • 4:33 | It was a self service counter, so I got my
    food coupon
  • 4:37 | And then I gave my token to the food counter
    And I was waiting for my turn to be called
  • 4:42 | And then I realised that these guys were shouting out token numbers in Hindi
  • 4:48 | And my token number was ‘Eight hundred and Eighty eight’
  • 4:51 | Immediately I was like “I am going to starve tonight. Let me be ready”
  • 4:55 | But I didn’t want to give up. So I took
  • 4:56 | out my google translator
    And typed ‘888’ in numbers, and then I
  • 5:01 | said “Translate to Hindi”
    And google said ‘888’(in numbers).
  • 5:06 | I was like “Google is stupid man”
    So I tried to be specific
  • 5:10 | I typed “Eight hundred and eighty eight”
    in English
  • 5:11 | And translated it and google said ‘Aat sau
    assi aat’
  • 5:16 | For the next five minutes, my goal was to
    remember it
  • 5:19 | So I started reciting “Aat sau assi aat,Aat
    sau assi aat, Aat sau assi aat”
  • 5:23 | The guys was like “Aat sau pachpan”
    I was like “NO. Aat sau assi aat,Aat sau
  • 5:27 | assi aat, Aat sau…”
    The guy was like “Aat sau Athiban”
  • 5:28 | I was like “NO. Aat sau assi aat,Aat sau
    assi aat, Aat sau…”
  • 5:30 | Athiban is not a number, it is just my friend’s
    name
  • 5:34 | Five minutes later my turn came out and the
    guy shouted
  • 5:37 | “Token number Aat-aat-aat”
  • 5:40 | These railway station ladies man, I hate them!
  • 5:48 | I like talking about languages
    Because language is one thing that unites us
  • 5:53 | at the same time divides us.
  • 5:55 | I know this because I am a Tamilian who lives in Bangalore
  • 5:57 | And my roommate in Bangalore is a Kannadiga,
  • 6:00 | from Karnataka
    Sometimes he tells me
  • 6:01 | “Navin, you are in Karnataka, you should
    learn Kannada”
  • 6:05 | Which I completely empathise with
    That is why I always tell him
  • 6:07 | “Dude, I will definitely learn Kannada,
    once I am done with Java and Python”
  • 6:12 | Because if I am not going to learn Java and
    Python
  • 6:15 | I am not going to be in the Silicon Valley
    of India to learn Kannada in the first place right?
  • 6:20 | But this is why I like South Indian metropolitan cities in general
  • 6:23 | Because people from different parts of the country come and live here
  • 6:26 | Be it Bombay or Bangalore
  • 6:29 | Sometimes even people from outside the country
    live here
  • 6:31 | I think that is why there are very less road
    rages in these cities
  • 6:35 | Because most of the time if you have to fight
    with another person on the streets
  • 6:39 | The common language is English
    And we Indians are good at a lot of things
  • 6:43 | Fighting in English is not one among them
    That is why the maximum quarrel you can see
  • 6:48 | in English is
    One guy saying “Fuck you”
  • 6:50 | And another guy saying
    “You fuck you”
  • 6:54 | And then both of them fuck off
    That is the end of the quarrel, nobody gets hurt
  • 6:59 | I have been in fights, I have never been like
  • 7:01 | “Hey, I am going to kill you, carve your
    chest up with a knife, use your skin as furniture
  • 7:04 | covers, make a necklace out of both of your
    ears and screw your skull through one your eyeballs”
  • 7:09 | Thanks for laughing at that man
  • 7:11 | It took me three weeks to by heart that one
    dialogue
  • 7:15 | Had to download the script of Django Unchained
  • 7:18 | Sometimes even NRIs who come back from
  • 7:21 | UK and western countries
    Even they can’t fight in English
  • 7:24 | Firstly I don’t know why they have this
    American dream, a lot of people go to the
  • 7:28 | US
    Because I recently went to the US to realise
  • 7:30 | that there is not much difference between
    India and these western countries
  • 7:33 | Except this one thing called the usage of
    toilet paper
  • 7:37 | And when I went there I had no difficulty
    on how to use a toilet paper.
  • 7:40 | Thanks to all the YouTube videos I watched
  • 7:44 | That’s how you learn things in the internet era, I am sorry
  • 7:46 | But once I was done with all the basic etiquettes
  • 7:49 | My real confusion was whether to throw the
    used paper
  • 7:51 | Into the dustbin or into the toilet commode
    Because think about it, traditionally in India
  • 7:58 | all the waste paper goes to the dustbin
    And all the shit goes to the toilet commode
  • 8:03 | And this thing in my hand is a very weird
    combination
  • 8:08 | That is why most of the times I was there
    I just dropped it on the floor and just ran
  • 8:11 | away
    I was just clever I didn’t use the same
  • 8:14 | loo twice on the same day
  • 8:17 | I also met a friend there, a school friend of mine
  • 8:19 | who has been living there for three
    years
  • 8:20 | And he consistently had this fake accent,
    like how people have it
  • 8:24 | At one point I got really annoyed
    So I slapped him and said, “Dude, Talk properly”
  • 8:28 | And he shouted, “OMG! Did you just slap
    me?”
  • 8:32 | And that is when I realised he was desperately
    trying to be an American
  • 8:35 | Because only Americans can do that shit
    Getting slapped by a person and asking the
  • 8:39 | same person
    “Did you just slap me?”
  • 8:43 | Any Indians response to a slap is a slap back
    or a swear word
  • 8:46 | But this guys response was a rhetorical question
  • 8:50 | I became angry, I slapped him again
  • 8:53 | And this time he started sounding like an
    African dude
  • 8:55 | “Yo man, please don’t hit me like that!”(In
    poor African accent)
  • 8:58 | So I slapped him again
    And then he started sounding like a Sheikh
  • 9:02 | from Saudi Arabia
    And that is when I realised that with every slap
  • 9:05 | This guy is actually coming back to his home country
  • 9:07 | One slap at a time
  • 9:11 | The last time I slapped him so hard
    He became so Indian that he started chasing
  • 9:14 | me shouting “Lavadekebal”
    And then I had to run for my life
  • 9:20 | But I was talking about road rages
    Because I recently got into a road rage in
  • 9:23 | Bangalore
    I was on my bike and I dashed into this car
  • 9:25 | And I immediately realised it was my mistake
    So I was ready to apologise to this guy
  • 9:29 | So I came out my bike
    And this guy came out of his car
  • 9:32 | The problem is even before starting to listen
    to me
  • 9:34 | He started shouting at me in Hindi
    And I was like “If you are going to shout
  • 9:38 | at me in your mother tongue
    I am going to shout at you in my mother tongue”
  • 9:41 | And I started shouting at him in Tamil
    Which went on for the next two minutes
  • 9:47 | After which both of us realised
    This is not helping either of us
  • 9:50 | Why are we even doing this?
    He also probably realised it
  • 9:53 | So he was like, “Dude, can we fight in English?
    Because I don’t know Kannada”
  • 10:04 | I understand
    The South Indian in me got furious
  • 10:06 | I wanted to tell him “Dude this is not Kannada,
    this is Tamil
  • 10:09 | These are very different South Indian languages”
    But the Bangalorean in me told him something
  • 10:13 | That I always wanted to tell people in Bangalore
    So I looked at his straight into his eyes
  • 10:17 | I told him, “This is Karnataka, you should
    learn Kannada”
  • 10:21 | He was like “Sure, Thank you man and got
    into the car”
  • 10:23 | Alright guys, that’s been my time, you guys
    have been a fantastic audience. Thanks for listening!

, , , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uq3SUrhX2bk , Prompt, #South #Indian #Hindi #Indian #Stand #Comedy #Navin #Kumar, 1726457457

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